"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed."
~Linda Wooten
Two in a half years have passed and I am nearing the end of
my college life. The boys adjusted better than I ever could credit a young
child after losing their family. Austyn became the “man of the house,” and
tends to be a little overly bossy! Dylan
became mommy’s protector & partner in crime!
I can only hope that someday my children will understand why I couldn't give them all there wants and needs. Why I lived on sleepless nights, why I couldn't always play with them and their matchbox cars that time they asked, and why I try so hard to make things right for them. But, if there is one thing I want them to walk away with... its learning from my mistakes. To know, that everything happens for a reason and to never search for love. Because I have learned, that we never find love when we are looking and we tend to fall in love with the most unexpected people at the most unexpected times.
I can only hope that someday my children will understand why I couldn't give them all there wants and needs. Why I lived on sleepless nights, why I couldn't always play with them and their matchbox cars that time they asked, and why I try so hard to make things right for them. But, if there is one thing I want them to walk away with... its learning from my mistakes. To know, that everything happens for a reason and to never search for love. Because I have learned, that we never find love when we are looking and we tend to fall in love with the most unexpected people at the most unexpected times.
Because, on an ordinary night mom met a guy who would
potentially became her best friend. Her prince charming (minus, the white
stallion horse)! But, I’m ok with
that! Mom’s never been a huge fan of
horses anyway! :-)
I believe everything I endured, every tear, every heart
ache, every lonely sleepless night I had ever encountered has led my life to
where I am today. (Yes, I just justified it!) My heart has been ripped out,
tossed and shredded in every direction. I have lost trust and faith in love, in
soul mates and fairytales. And the only life I knew was my children. That
is…Until he came along, opened another chapter and changed everything!
And right now, I am perfectly happy with him. I'm putting away my fears of being hurt. I'm giving him my heart and trusting he
doesn’t break it. Because at this
moment, I’m having the time of my life with my children and the one boy I
absolutely love & adore. My life
couldn’t feel more content then it is right now!