"It's the simple things in life that we never forget. It's those words we wish we never said. It's the happy endings in fairy-tales we want to have and those divine memories we want to rewind!"
~ Unknown
Here is my story in black and white. I can only dream of
that fairytale we all dream of as a little girl. The realistic fairytale where
you become the princess; and he becomes your prince charming, with the
beautiful white stallion horse. The fairytale when you realize he's the boy
you're crazy for. The one who makes you laugh on the worst days. He’s not
perfect, but neither are you. Sometimes he's dorky, but he's your dork. He
kisses you in the rain and dances with no music, even though he knows its
cliché. He made you realize it’s possible to have permanent butterflies and
every love song makes sense because of him, because he loves you, and you love
him….So how does my story end?
Well, I once was told that fairytales do not exist because fairytales end with a happy ending and happy endings do not end! So how does my life lead up to my prince charming? (OK, I guess I should mention…He doesn’t know it yet, but, I’m going to marry this boy someday!)
We are all firm believers in that everything happens for a reason (guilty!) what those reasons are we don’t always learn. Instead, we justify it! (and I’m totally ok with that!) My life in a nut shell began as a Pisces in 1984. Yes, the Pisces.- The sun sign, the symbol of two fish- is beautiful and kind yet stubborn and bullheaded! And that is me to the T! Of course I can go on about the Pisces but, being vain is not part of the Pisces trait! Moving on…
I lived from what I can recall before life became a glimpse was what most people classified as average. We didn’t have the biggest house on the block, the best looking cars, brand name clothing or famous parents. But, mom, dad and my two sisters and I were a family. And what more do you need if you have your family?
Well, that was until in 1996 we lost our dad when I was 12years old to a brain tumor and cancer. I would like to go more in depth with this but, I can’t. Not because I don’t want to but, because it’s the glimpse. I realize as I get older there are more moments in my life that I have “blocked” out. My sisters and I now spend our years filling in our parts that we remember that they don’t. It’s like every year we find another piece of our puzzle that got tossed that year. Our classified life never seemed average to us. I think mom faced a little more obstacles and little more trial and error. And I traveled a different path that tested mom on those skills. If every mother published a book on “How to raise a child,” mom would have purchased every single one of them that year!
Yes, I became the child with no rules. I had rules. I just didn’t care. Why? Because, at 12 years old. I no longer had a family. I lost my best friend. I was daddy’s little girl and clued to his hip! When dad died I lost a piece of myself… and never got it back. Everyone told me “Time heals all”, but I have learned, time just teaches us to live without.
I spent the next year in a detention home and foster care and the next 3 years trying to gain my family back and wishing there was a way I could just pick up where I left off. Unfortunately, I learned once the stone is tossed you can’t retrieve it. Rebuilding my mother/daughter and sisterly relationships was one of the hardest obstacles I had ever encountered after the loss of dad. It wasn’t easy letting go of all the anger and hurt I felt losing dad. I guess at that time I thought it was easier to blame them then it was for me to face the fact that he was gone and never coming back. But, was it worth it? YES! It took time and baby steps but, I regained those relationships and feel I have my two children to thank for that! Which, leads to Chapter 2….
Well, I once was told that fairytales do not exist because fairytales end with a happy ending and happy endings do not end! So how does my life lead up to my prince charming? (OK, I guess I should mention…He doesn’t know it yet, but, I’m going to marry this boy someday!)
We are all firm believers in that everything happens for a reason (guilty!) what those reasons are we don’t always learn. Instead, we justify it! (and I’m totally ok with that!) My life in a nut shell began as a Pisces in 1984. Yes, the Pisces.- The sun sign, the symbol of two fish- is beautiful and kind yet stubborn and bullheaded! And that is me to the T! Of course I can go on about the Pisces but, being vain is not part of the Pisces trait! Moving on…
I lived from what I can recall before life became a glimpse was what most people classified as average. We didn’t have the biggest house on the block, the best looking cars, brand name clothing or famous parents. But, mom, dad and my two sisters and I were a family. And what more do you need if you have your family?
Well, that was until in 1996 we lost our dad when I was 12years old to a brain tumor and cancer. I would like to go more in depth with this but, I can’t. Not because I don’t want to but, because it’s the glimpse. I realize as I get older there are more moments in my life that I have “blocked” out. My sisters and I now spend our years filling in our parts that we remember that they don’t. It’s like every year we find another piece of our puzzle that got tossed that year. Our classified life never seemed average to us. I think mom faced a little more obstacles and little more trial and error. And I traveled a different path that tested mom on those skills. If every mother published a book on “How to raise a child,” mom would have purchased every single one of them that year!
Yes, I became the child with no rules. I had rules. I just didn’t care. Why? Because, at 12 years old. I no longer had a family. I lost my best friend. I was daddy’s little girl and clued to his hip! When dad died I lost a piece of myself… and never got it back. Everyone told me “Time heals all”, but I have learned, time just teaches us to live without.
I spent the next year in a detention home and foster care and the next 3 years trying to gain my family back and wishing there was a way I could just pick up where I left off. Unfortunately, I learned once the stone is tossed you can’t retrieve it. Rebuilding my mother/daughter and sisterly relationships was one of the hardest obstacles I had ever encountered after the loss of dad. It wasn’t easy letting go of all the anger and hurt I felt losing dad. I guess at that time I thought it was easier to blame them then it was for me to face the fact that he was gone and never coming back. But, was it worth it? YES! It took time and baby steps but, I regained those relationships and feel I have my two children to thank for that! Which, leads to Chapter 2….